It's Time for "Time Magazine" to Rethink Things

Hi, everyone—it’s me, your friend Arnold Schwarzenegger. I just read I’ve been snubbed again for “Time Magazine” Man of the Year. What are they thinking? They probably picked some idiot like the Pope or George W. Bush again! He already won twice! It's not fair to pick him again. This is just one of a series of disappointments that have plagued me this week. Last Friday I went to Hawaii for Christmas break, then my advisors informed me Christmas break doesn’t start till next Friday and I had to come back and be governor for another week. It gets worse. When I was driving back home from the airport in my Hummer, I ran over a raccoon. I love racoons! Why did this have to happen?!?! Can't the department of fish and game contain these animals in their own safe area and keep them out of Brentwood? I took the poor critter home and buried it out back with all the other animals I have killed with my Hummer. Somehow I have to use my powers as governor to stop this senseless carnage. Maybe after Christmas break.