Arnold Schwarzenegger Does Not Think Highly of Arnold Palmer

Arnold Schwarzenegger would like you to rethink the name of the Arnold Palmer iced-tea/lemonade drink.

Arnold Schwarzenegger vs. Robert Redford

I just saw this video for Sundance on YouTube:


This is what I think of it and what I think about Redford and Sundance:

Arnold Schwarzenegger Puts Governing Aside to Think About Animals

Arnold Schwarzenegger wonders what life would be like if animals had feelings.

Arnold Schwarzenegger Doesn't Like Parenting

Arnold Schwarzenegger needs a timeout from parenting.

Arnold Schwarzenegger Loves Surprises

Arnold Schwarzenegger finally surprised Maria.

Arnold Schwarzenegger's Amazing Plane Ride

I had an amazing plane ride today!

Arnold Schwarzenegger Has Gratitude for Political Muscle

Hello, how are you? It's me: Arnold Schwarzenegger. As I'm sure you know by now, Robert Salladay of the Los Angeles Times recently recognized my work in his blog "Political Muscle". I just want to thank him and tell him I think "Political Muscle" is a great name for a blog. I try to build up my political muscle everyday by doing a hundred political sit-ups, three hundred political push-ups, and drinking five political protein shakes. It doesn't leave me much time for actual politicking, but it does keep me in shape.

Arnold Schwarzenegger Interprets His Dreams

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a very mysterious dream.

Arnold Schwarzenegger Yells at Health Care

Good morning. How are you? This is your governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Let's talk about health care. Right now the health care system in California is like a giant, mouldy, rotten pumpkin that has been sitting in the sun since Halloween. In short, it stinks. Hospitals and doctors charge far too much for their services, insurance companies are increasing their premiums while making it a routine policy to deny as many medical claims as possible and frustrate their customers with rules and forms that are totally incomprehensible. There is no doubt in my mind that the Health Care System in California is on a "Highway to Hell". Sooner or later, the whole thing is going to blow up in our faces. Well, I am not going to wait for that day. I am going to blow it up now. I know that the only way to change some things is to destroy it and then rebuild it. So that is my plan. And all the insurance and medical lobbyists who want to try to stop me better remember one thing. I cannot be stopped.

Arnold Schwarzenegger Vents about Colors

Arnold Schwarzenegger and colors don't mix.

It's Easier To Be Lindsay Lohan Than Arnold Schwarzenegger

Hi, it’s me, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Welcome back to my webpage. I see Lindsay Lohan went to the doctor saying she had an appendicitis and they immediately believed her. Good for her. It’s a little harder to convince people you’re hurt when you’re the Terminator. That is my curse. Take my recent femur fracture on the ski slopes for example. After I hurt it, I told Maria, “Hey, I think I broke my femur in two,” and she just said, “Yeah, right. Is this another one of your jokes?” Then I said, “Not this time, Maria. I’m telling you: it really hurts.” But she still didn’t believe me. So after I did a few more runs on the mountain, I told my friends, “Hey, I wasn’t kidding back there. My femur definitely needs repair,” and they just said, “Haha, very funny, Arnold. Why don't you get a knife, cut the fake skin on your leg and show us your tunsgten titanium femur which can't be broken because that alloy is indestructible?" I told them, "Please, listen to me, that movie is science fiction, my fractured femur is science reality." I showed them the bone sticking through my skin and they just laughed. "Nice special effects, Arnold." So I went to the bar for a couple of drinks to relieve my pain and, thank God, I ran into a Venezuelan orthopedic surgeon who had never seen the Terminator. Long story short: Lindsay doesn’t know how good she's got it.

Arnold Schwarzenegger Hates the Liberal Press, Murderers, and Compassion

Arnold Schwarzenegger wants a word with lethal injections.

Saddam Hussein Hanging Video: Two Thumbs Down

Hi. This is Arnold Schwarzenegger. I saw this video of Saddam Hussein being hung. I think they should have hung the cameraman for his lame cinematography. The hanging of a world class dictator like Saddam Hussein deserves at least 16 mm and a guy operating the camera who doesn't have Parkinson's disease. C'mon! Hussein murdered thousands of people. At least get some good closeups. His hanging should be a blockbuster hit! If people ever find out about all the things I did and decide to hang me, I hope they let me choose the director. I want him to have a good camera so he can see me flex my neck muscles and snap the rope. He’ll also need to do a wide angle shot so the audience can see me destroy everyone in the room. And there would have to be a good boom mic operator for afterwards when I say my catchphrase: “Sorry I couldn’t hang around.”

I am on Team "Britney Spears Was Tired"

Hello, it’s your friend Arnold Schwarzenegger with an update on Britney Spear’s New Year’s Eve “passing out” crisis. Looks like the jury’s still out as to whether she was tired or drank too much. I happen to know for a fact that she was just tired. I mean, wouldn’t you be if you were running around in my dreams all night? HA HA HA. Do you get it? The joke I came up with? God, why is it I never have a pen when I think of these things!

Arnold Schwarzenegger Wishes Everyone a Happy New Year

Arnold Schwarzenegger wishes Blacks, Jews, Gays and everyone else, except illegal immigrants, a Happy New Year.

Happy New Year from Your Future President

How are you? Happy New Year. It's hard to believe it's already 2007. On the other hand, some people find it hard to believe that I am the governor of California. That's the thing about the future. Even though it's hard to believe something will happen, that doesn't stop it from happening. That is why I believe I can become President of the United States. Even though I am a cybernetic machine and current law requires that a President must be a human being doesn’t mean it can't happen. Look at Lance Armstrong. His doctors said he was a dead man. Then he went on to prove them all wrong and win the Tour de France. The odds against him were far greater than the odds against me becoming President. It's one tiny little Constitutional law that can be smashed down when the opportunity is right. So I am just waiting. Waiting for the opportunity to make my move. Waiting for the future to make one of those seemingly "impossible" turns that will put me in the White House as President of the United States. That will be a great day for all the machines in America.