A Message to Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay, I want you to know that, after reading your letter about Robert Altman's death, I did what I'm assuming most Americans did: rented some of his movies to find out who he was. After watching them, I realized why I never heard of him:

(1) There are no explosions in his movies.

Lindsay, your letter should've said: "I'm so sorry Mr. Altman decided not to use more explosions in his movies."

You also "Be Adequite", whatever that means.

Your friend and Governor,

Arnold