Mary Is Quite Contrary

How are you? It's me, Arnold. I hear Dick Cheney's lesbian daughter, Mary, is pregnant. It seems like somebody isn't as gay as she says she is. For sure Mary has got some guy to do some diving into the dark, parallel parking, horizontal jogging, or whatever you call it at your house (in Austria we call it indoor sledging). But back to that guy. Now what? She says goodbye to him and goes back to her gay lover? I hate it when men get used like that. It's a crazy world!