I'm Here For You, Lindsay Lohan

Hey, it’s me, Arnold Schwarzenegger, the Governor of California. I would like to reach out to Lindsay Lohan on her journey to become sober. May I suggest some activities that she could do to keep from thinking about drinking. Things like making a sandwich then making another sandwich and seeing if you can make it bigger than the first one. Maybe round up some goats and start your own farm with cows and ears of corn. You could also invent something that hasn’t even been thought of yet. Or memorize all the letters of the alphabet then mix them up to make words like “basketball” and “pizza ball”. Even words without the word “ball”, like, I don’t know—I’m sure there’s lots of them.